Two Christians sit on a park bench. One is about 40 years-old, the other near 80. A young, beautiful person of the opposite sex walks by. As their conversation resumes, the 40-year-old says, "I'll be glad when I'm old enough that I won't have to struggle with thoughts of lust." And the 80-year-old responds, "So will I."

It's true, isn't it, that all of us here this morning, no matter how mature, are pretty much like ducks swimming in the pond? On the surface we may appear to be calm and passive, but underneath we're paddling like mad, struggling with our faith and our feelings, torn between what we know is right and what we're tempted to do.

It's important for us to admit that because to one degree or another, we all walk a tight-rope of sorts between strength and weakness, between faith and doubt. Like ping-pong balls, we bounce back and forth between feeling very strong and adequate, or wondering how God puts up with the many ways we disappoint Him.

As we look to the scriptures this morning, we find someone with a similar struggle. Hundreds of years ago, someone began referring to Thomas as "Doubting Thomas." That title owes its origin to a passage today where Thomas refuses to believe the resurrection without verifiable proof, but the picture the Bible paints of Thomas is not one of a doubter at all. In fact, the greatest single statement of faith in Jesus as deity comes from the lips of this man.

To understand Thomas and a bit more about how our own doubts inform our faith here at First Congregational-UCC, we'll look at three passages involving Thomas.

The first experience we have of Thomas is in John, chapter 11. The context here involves the resurrection of Lazarus. Jesus just receives word that his good friend Lazarus is very sick. When Jesus hears of Lazarus's condition, Jesus stays where he is for two more days. Then he tells his apostles that Lazarus has died, and that he would now go on to Bethany.

The trip to see Lazarus would be a dangerous one, and his apostles recognized that fact. But listen to the words of the man that we call the Doubter. In John 11:16, Thomas says, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

The trait seen in this comment is loyalty. The man dubbed as a doubter is a follower determined to cling to Christ with every fiber of his being, even if that means his own death. Because of a loyalty based on a strong faith, Thomas is able to say, "Come on guys, let's go die with Him!" So again, the first biblical encounter with Thomas reveals his loyalty.

The second incident involving this disciple begins in John 14. This passage comes shortly before the crucifixion of Jesus. After Jesus predicts the betrayal of Judas, the denial of Peter and his own death on the cross, Jesus soothes his friends with some of the most beautiful words of scripture: "Let not your hearts be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you."

Again and again, Jesus tells his apostles where he's going, but they still didn't understand. Confused and bewildered, they don't connect how he is going to the Father, and they certainly don't understand the way by which he is going. 

Yet it's Thomas who speaks up because this man, like so many who comprise this congregation, is far too honest and far too earnest to be concerned with any vague and pious expressions. I think we here in this church get this. Like Thomas, many of us here voice what we don't understand. We speak up not to fan a flame of fire, but we raise questions to honestly and earnestly understand. As candid or as straight-forward as someone you may know, (and that someone may be yourself), Thomas expresses his failure to understand. He says in John 14:5, "Lord, we do not know where you are going, and how can we know the way?" 

As the first portion of scripture involving Thomas depicts his loyalty, the question Thomas raises here in this second excerpt of scripture reveals his devotion. He didn't want Jesus to leave; he was willing to follow Jesus anywhere. He says, in essence, "You tell me where you're going and I'll be right there with you." But his statement of allegiance is also a statement of an imperfect faith. He is confused. He didn't understand. (Unlike most men, however, he did ask for directions!)

The third and final incident involving Thomas comes to us today in scripture. This chapter begins with Mary Magdalene discovering the empty tomb of Jesus. Peter and John also witness the empty tomb. Following this, Jesus appears to Mary. She tells the apostles that she's seen the risen Christ. Then, later that day, as ten of the remaining eleven apostles huddle behind locked doors, Jesus suddenly appears to them. He shows them his hands and his side, and the apostles are overjoyed to see that it's true—Jesus is alive!

Now we come to the doubting part of doubting Thomas. Thomas isn't willing to accept their testimony about the resurrection. He tells his friends that he won't believe until he can see and touch the scars. So he remains in his disbelief for a solid week until Jesus appears to him.

Why wouldn't Thomas believe? Lest we be too hard on him, let's realize that Thomas isn't asking for any further proof than had been already offered to the other ten apostles.

In verse 20, Jesus appears to the ten apostles and offers them his hands and side as proof. So when Thomas says, "I won't believe until I see it," the proof he seeks is no different from what the others apostles already had.

Another consideration should be made in defense of Thomas. In Matthew 24, Jesus warns His apostles to be very careful when people make claims about His appearance. Jesus says, "If anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' do not believe it. For false christs and false prophets will arise and show great signs and wonders, so as to deceive, if possible, even the elect." (Matthew 24:23-24)

It's entirely possible, maybe even likely, that when Thomas heard that Jesus had appeared, he thought about that warning. I imagine we, too, if in that situation, would respond the same way. See, Thomas's reluctance to believe the message of the resurrected Lord may have been tied to his insistence upon believing Jesus. Thomas could have been thinking, "Jesus warned me about such reports; I didn't think, however, that my own buddies would be taken in so quickly." It is likely that Thomas' statement of doubt is also a statement of great faith.

It's important to note that Thomas didn't take his faith simply or blindly. No, Thomas, like so many of us, takes his faith neither lightly nor whimsically. Open to questioning and to sharing experiences, we gather as much 'hands on' proof as we can.

Let's return to the text, following along with verse 26 on your inserts. "And after eight days his disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, 'Peace to you!' Then he said to Thomas, 'Reach your finger here, and look at my hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into my side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.' And Thomas answered and said to him, 'My Lord and my God!'

Do not be unbelieving this morning, but believing. Do what you must to allow your doubt to inform your faith. Thomas did. As a result, he was driven to his knees before Jesus when he realized that it really was Jesus. He fell down before Christ and exclaimed, "My Lord and my God!" Nowhere in all of scripture is there a greater statement of faith, and it comes from the lips of the man that we call "Doubting Thomas"!

I heard about a man who was driving his sport utility vehicle when he came to a detour sign that read, "ROAD UNDER REPAIR." Now this guy's got an SUV. He's not going to let a little construction stop him. So he throws it into 4-wheel drive, drives around the sign and gets through the construction site with no problem. His success continues for about 20-miles until he comes to the absolute end of the road, beyond which there is a huge gorge with no bridge.

The driver has no choice but to turn around and retrace his route back to the detour sign. When he approaches the back side of the same construction sign, he reads what someone had written on the back of sign: "WELCOME BACK STUPID."

We should be glad that's not the way Jesus welcomes back Thomas. Jesus meets Thomas and his doubt with openness and love. I can even picture Jesus smiling; smiling to the point of being near laughter because of the look of surprise and joy on Thomas' face when he finally sees that Jesus is truly risen.

Once again, the loyalty of Thomas shines through. He's now convinced that the good news of the gospel is true. Christ is risen! Thomas is now ready to follow Jesus anywhere and put his life on the line. Legend has it that Thomas traveled to India to spread the good news about Jesus. There they had to kill him to keep him from telling the story of his dead friend who had come back to life. Thomas had once offered to follow Jesus even though it would mean his death and, if we can believe the legend, that's exactly what happened.

Let this come true for you today: it's not wrong to doubt. Doubt is a natural part of life. Frederick Buechner once wrote: "Were there no room for doubt, there would be no room for faith, either." Sometimes our doubt even leads to faith.

We betray all too often the imperfection of our faith, and we know it. We have failed the Lord so often, and we know it.

Yet here's where someone like Thomas comes in because Thomas shows us the great difference between "imperfect faith" and "faithlessness". While his imperfect faith in the Lord wavered from time to time, that same faith also never failed him as it never fails you. Now he didn't always know how to translate his imperfect faith, but that loyalty and love were always there.

See, the obedient faith that serves us is not a perfect faith. It's not flawless faith without doubts and fears. Instead, it's a loyal faith. It is a faith that accepts Christ as its center. And while the expression of that faith may stumble and stagger, it never loses sight of its center. His doubts inform his faith. His questions bring about greater faith.  That's the lesson of Thomas.

A lot of new or young Christians fall away discouraged because they think becoming a Christian will take away all the struggles, all the temptations, all the desires to do the things they wanted to do before they became Christians. And it doesn't. Remember that example of the two on the park bench that started this sermon. Maturing as a Christian doesn't take away the struggle; it merely means that we win victories more often, or we turn defeat into an opportunity to build greater faith.

Doubt informs faith. Today you may be struggling with doubt. There's nothing wrong with that when we remember Thomas. Our faith needs to go through those sorts of struggles before it can grow.

May we all pray the prayer we find Mark 9:24, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief."